A Simple Guide to Self-Love
Two words. Easy to preach, but it’s darn hard to do. However, it’s a necessity that needs to be practiced now and then because you’d realize how significant of an impact it is to invest yourself into you.
Lately, I’ve been delving quite a lot into the perception of truly and unconditionally putting myself first. Asking questions, such as,
“Am I good to myself? Is my mind kind to my body and soul?”
In my own psycho-spiritual journey, I see that at times we, including myself tend to beat ourselves up with cruel self-talk, set ourselves up for failure with unrealistic expectations, deprive ourselves of things we deserve through self-sabotaging behaviors, and abuse our bodies through neglect or harmful choices.
Self-love is a popular concept these days, but it can sometimes be hard to recognize what that really looks like in practice. The term really means something different for each person because we all have many different ways to show that we love ourselves. Even so, figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is so important: I’ve found that when I feel my lowest when my body has been the sickest, and when I am bombarded with the most self-deprecating thoughts, the only thing to pull me up and out is drenching myself in self-love.
If you still feel confused or lost on where to start with your own self-love conversation, don’t worry, I’ve put together a list to help you get started:
- Create a self-love ritual
You can choose your own ritual which could be included with the existing habit from your daily routine. Like, take a long warm shower session before you go to bed, massage your face while you put on moisturizer, go to bed before 9 pm, etc. Or, you can create a ritual as simple as practicing daily affirmations. Recite mantras that encourage self-compassion, bring your attention to being good to yourself, write in a journal about your strengths and everything about you for which you are grateful, document everything you accomplish, feel good about, do right, like about yourself, etc., keep your self-talk positive, turn down the volume of your inner critic and choose to be your best coach or cheerleader.
2. Surround yourself with people you feel good with
Human beings are social creatures. We want to be in the company of friends or family and share our lives with them. We want to talk about the minutiae of our lives: what we had for dinner, the commute to work, etc. as much as we do about the big things in our lives. Therefore, you need the support and love from people around you to stay motivated and on track. Research shows positive energy is contagious, so whether you’re building a network or planning to go to a fun event, it’s always important to have an environment you value to be around you regularly.
3. No more comparisons
Well, we’ve all done it. Browsed through social media only to see our favorite media personalities in the middle of a photo shoot for their new magazine cover, or see our friends just had shopping sprees or awesome holidays to some famous destinations, and that was right before the post about their first day at a new cool office that you’ve been wanting to work at. WHAT?! I know it’s hard to look at so many positive pics on the Internet while you’re here having a rough day and hating your job or your current situation.
But, the next time you want to browse the web for reasons to feel bad about yourself, remember that everybody has different life paths. They might just accomplish their dreams now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish yours. People have different timelines. You’re not late. You’re simply in the process of reaching your milestones. One step at a time. Just remember to keep moving and be patient.
4. Explore your spirituality
Religious or not, faith is the foundation for self-love. Believing in something opens up your soul to the beauty of belief and trust. It will build your intuition and help you make decisions based on your gut. When you explore your spirituality, it will also take you on a journey to learning things about yourself, and those new thoughts, feelings, passions, and raw emotions will make you appreciate yourself for being authentically you.
5. Let go of things that you can’t change
We’re constantly holding on to things that we regret doing or don’t do, and it can tend to weigh heavy on our souls and even give us low self-esteem. The more blocks we clear, the more we can really live big in the area of self-love. Although we may do this as a way to protect ourselves from hurting, it’s really only holding us back from moving forward to reaching optimal self-acceptance and loving who we are.
Self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. Resolve to love yourself each and every day and watch your best self blossom and your greatest life unfold!
We cannot love others until we love ourselves.
Self-love is not a mood, it’s a mindset.
We are the only ones in control of our emotional states. We alone are responsible for our emotional well-being, our responses, and our self-esteem. Understanding our own worth means accepting that it is independent of every other person we encounter. Real self-love is not impacted by anything external, good, or bad.
*Alternative article to read: https://medium.com/@krisgage/how-to-develop-self-love-816d77efb1c
With love,
R
