Things My Mom Didn’t Tell Me, But Should Have
“My power is not the way I bend for others. But in the way I can stand the fuck for myself. My power is not in the sweet smile. But in the way I will always be my god damn self, in a world that tells me not to.” — Brooke Solis
In the whirlwind of 2017, just as I was donning my graduation cap, life threw me a curveball that left me to navigate the wild terrains of adulthood without my guiding star — my mom. I took off on a journey of survival as a young girl in this wild, crazy world, armed with lessons my mom didn’t get the chance to teach but, oh, how I wish she had.
So, here are some of the things I have learned myself since she’s gone:
First on the list: Cooking was not something that magically happened. If only Mom could have warned me that the kitchen wasn’t just a place of delightful smells but a battlefield where I’d battle charred meals and culinary catastrophes. Pasta and cereal became my best friends, and YouTube tutorials are my culinary school.
Then came the complexities of personal finance. I wish my mom had told me that adulting involved more than budgeting; it was about embracing the strange dance of bills, taxes, and the mystical world of credit scores. Turns out, money doesn’t grow on trees, but stress does.
Relationships turned out to be an unpredictable rollercoaster. My mom should have shared the handbook on decoding mixed signals, understanding boundaries, and recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Yet, here I am, learning these lessons firsthand, often the hard way.
Self-care wasn’t just about bubble baths and scented candles. Mom should have emphasized the importance of mental well-being. I learned the value of saying ‘no,’ seeking help and allowing myself to feel without judgment — lessons etched through trial and error, and a few therapy sessions.
And then there were the practicalities of adulting: plungers are not optional, laundry doesn’t do itself, and friendships need nurturing. These are the life skills I wish Mom could have handed down with a wink and a knowing smile.
In the face of adversity, I discovered strength I didn’t know I possessed. I became a solo adventurer on a somewhat annoying journey of paying bills, fixing leaks, and assembling furniture. Each day became a journey toward self-discovery, and while Mom may not have equipped me with an instruction manual, she instilled in me a spirit of resilience that guided my every step.
The wilderness of adulthood may be chaotic, but every stumble became a lesson, every challenge a chance to grow. Life may not have come with a roadmap, but perhaps the journey is more meaningful because of it.
As I forge ahead, I carry with me the echoes of “What My Mom Would Probably Say?”— a narrative of survival, resilience, and a little girl spirit to make her proud.
With love,
R
